OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
