$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
