people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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