I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
