Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
