Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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