I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
