I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
