Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My vagina is officially offended.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
