some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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