My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
