I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
