I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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