I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS