I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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