watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
