What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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