My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize