I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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