Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
