I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
40s are totally the cure
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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