I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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