I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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