I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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