Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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