just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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