I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
