She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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