I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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