yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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