Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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