I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
