I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
