I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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