I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Drunk is not a location!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
