he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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