I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
