Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
