you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
