If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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