So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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