He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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