i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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