the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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