Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
