I only kidnapped one of them. chill
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
