My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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