I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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