Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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