it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize