And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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