Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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