STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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