Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
