I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize