He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
