You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
