Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize