He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize