I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
