plz talk dirty to me
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
